Making Proper Use Of Sommeliers

The new year started extremely well, with the following advice about sommelier use coming from the 1st of January's edition of my favourite piece of right-wing fruit-cakery, The Spectator.

My wife would like to get angry and throw a glass of wine over me; what would you recommend?

We can now all return to restaurants with confidence. What fools we have been in 2010 and further back, asking sommeliers moronic questions about food and wine matching.